Abuse Policies & Procedures

NEW LIFE OPC POLICIES & PROCEDURES CONCERNING ABUSE

1. Our Commitment to Provide Care and Protection in Situations of Abuse
New Life OPC is committed to provide compassionate care and protection for victims of abuse. We will also confront their abusers, holding them accountable, and seeking their restoration, should the grace of God bring them to repentance. In pursuing this care of victims and accountability for abusers, the session will follow the policies and procedures laid out in this document but will also be guided by many other resources as listed in part under section 6 below. We believe this commitment is called for by the teaching of God’s Word.

If you or someone you know is a victim of abuse, please contact any of New Life’s pastors or elders, or anyone on the Crisis Care Team, and be assured that you will be cared for and protected.
Main Session Contact: Pastor Paul Browne (email)
Main Crisis Care Team Contact: Laurie Tricarico (email)
If you are in danger, or in cases of criminal abuse, call law enforcement and then inform the session.

2. How We Identify Abuse
Abuse is a behavioral pattern in which a person exercises power over another to control and manipulate them for selfish purposes, so that the other is mistreated, oppressed, crushed, and injured, either in soul or body or in both. There can never be an excuse for such habitually destructive behavior, whether in marriage, parenting, or in the church. Headship in marriage and authority in general are, as Jesus demonstrated, a calling to serve and not to be served, to lay down one’s life for others, and to walk in self-denial in the shadow of Christ’s cross. Abuse in marriage is not a marriage issue, per se. It is distinguished from ordinary marital conflicts by its impenitent, persistent, entrenched patterns of oppression, intimidation, punishment, entrapment, coercion and/or violence for self-gratification, leading to the abused person’s deepening instability, fear, and trauma (psychologically and/or physically).

Abuse can be perpetrated in private homes or in the church (which is the household and family of God). Usually men are the abusers. The victims may be spouses, children, siblings, parents, the aged, extended family members, and church members. Abuse can be separated into several categories:

A. Emotional Abuse (also called Verbal or Psychological Abuse, or Psychological Intimidation)
B. Physical Abuse
C. Economic Abuse
D. Spiritual Abuse
E. Sexual Abuse
F. Abandonment (also called Neglect or Desertion)

3. How We View the Sinfulness and Seriousness of Abuse
Abuse is a serious sin because it breaks many of God’s commandments all at once as it destroys another person made in God’s image. Abuse may violate the fifth commandment, which requires those in authority (husbands, parents, elders) to care for those under their power. Abuse may violate the sixth commandment, which requires us to protect and improve the lives of others rather than destroy them. Abuse may violate the seventh commandment, which requires us to fulfill all marital duties in love. Finally, abuse may violate the ninth commandment, which requires us to keep the vows and promises we have made to love and care for others, whether in marriage, or in the baptism of our children, or for church office or membership.

Abuse is a serious sin requiring repentance by the abuser. If an abusive person does not repent, he will be brought under church discipline, which may lead to excommunication. Abuse in marriage may also be recognized as a biblically valid reason for divorce, so violating the marriage covenant that an abused spouse (working with the session) may sue out a divorce from an abusive partner without threat of church discipline and with the right of remarriage afterward. Abuse also may be a serious crime, and New Life will abide by relevant laws of the state and observe mandated and other reporting requirements in order to protect the abused, as detailed below in section 4.

Governing statements from the Bible include the following:

A. Exodus 21:10-11 If he takes another wife to himself, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, or her marital rights. And if he does not do these three things for her, she shall go out for nothing, without payment of money.
B. Psalms 11:5 The LORD tests the righteous, but his soul hates the wicked and the one who loves violence.
C. Proverbs 24:11-12 Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter. If you say, “Behold, we did not know this,” does not he who weighs the heart perceive it? Does not he who keeps watch over your soul know it, and will he not repay man according to his work?
D. Isaiah 58:6 Is not this the fast that I choose: to loose the bonds of wickedness, to undo the straps of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke?
E. Ephesians 5:25-30 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body.

4. Our Policies to Protect the Church from Abuse

A. Allegations of Abuse: The session will investigate all allegations of abuse according to the procedures detailed below in sections 5 and 6.
B. New Life Crisis Care Team: In response to dealing with abuse in the past, and with the help of Called to Peace Ministries (see 7.A below about them), the session has formed a New Life Crisis Care Team to be their “hands on” helpers for abused members of the congregation. This team will function according to the procedures detailed below in section 5. A.
C. Cooperation with Civil Authority: New Life Church will seek to uphold relevant laws of the state concerning the various forms of criminal abuse, recognizing that all governing authority has been put in place by God to be a terror to evildoers and to praise those who do good (Rom.13:1-7, 1Pet.2:13-17). The session will cooperate with all relevant law enforcement and governmental agencies in cases of abuse (and at other times required by the Bible). The session may also depend on the determinations of their investigations for church discipline matters.
D. Clergy Confidentiality: Pastors and elders will disclose to law enforcement (after making sure any abused persons are warned and safe at the time of such notification) any criminal abuse that they learn in the course of otherwise confidential counseling or their regular ministry. As one expert writes: “The clergy-penitent privilege does not prevent clergy from disclosing confidential communications to the police. Rather, it prevents clergy from disclosing the content of privileged communications in court. Clergy who choose to inform the police about information shared with them in confidence are providing no more than a ‘tip.’ The police will need to confirm the information through their own investigation, since the minister will be prevented by privilege from disclosing the information in court” (Richard Hammar in Pastor, Church, & Law). Pastors and elders will always seek to bring to full repentance those who confess sins to them. In the case of sins that are also crimes, including criminal abuse, this will include submitting to the full ecclesiastical and civil consequences for their actions.
E. Mandated and Other Reporting: The church will follow all reporting requirements of the state for mandated reporters of abuse. Church members who are not mandated reporters should also first report to the civil authorities if they learn of criminal abuse and then inform the session.
F. Background Checks: The session will require all members and employees working directly with children to undergo a Pennsylvania child abuse clearance, criminal background check, and FBI background check and to renew these as required periodically. These records are maintained by ruling elder Martin Wade.
G. Session Oversight of All Volunteers Working with Children: All volunteers, regardless of age, who work directly with children will be approved ahead of time for these functions by the session, which approval will be renewed annually. This will specifically include nursery workers, Sunday school teachers and helpers, and all youth group volunteers, all of which will normally be members of New Life.
H. Protecting the Flock: If a member has previously been disciplined for any form of abuse but has been restored as a member in good standing, the session will nonetheless determine if they should be prevented from attending or participating in certain meetings and ministries of the church. This is 1) to preserve them from temptations toward past sins, and 2) to remove any legitimate concerns on the part of other members, and 3) to have regard for what is right in the sight of all, even those outside the church (Rom.12:17, 1Pet.2:12, 2Cor.8:21). This will be especially a concern of the session for those working with the children of the church.
I. Rules for Safe Ministry Settings: In order to protect the members of the church from abuse, and to avoid every appearance of evil, 1) pastors and elders will normally not meet with or transport women alone; if it is necessary they will first inform the session and their wives; 2) pastors, elders, and volunteers will normally not meet with or transport children or young people of either sex alone; if it is necessary they will first inform the session and the parents of the child; 3) there will always be at least two volunteers in the church nursery. Whenever any woman wishes to meet with an elder or the whole session, she is always welcome to bring a friend or support person.
J. Annual Review: The session of New Life will review these policies and procedures annually in August to see that the church is keeping them and will also improve them periodically as it deems best.

5. Our Procedures—How We Will Respond to Allegations of Abuse

A. The Session Will Carefully Listen to Abused Persons and Connect Them to the New Life Crisis Care Team
Although these procedures deal primarily with spousal abuse, the same care will be given to victims of any form of abuse. Any person bringing an allegation of abuse will be listened to, respected, and protected by the leaders of New Life. In abuse cases, the safety of abused persons and their families is our highest priority. Actions taken against an abuser will be with the victim’s consent and counsel. However, in the cases of criminal abuse, the session will be obligated to inform law enforcement.

Upon hearing allegations of abuse, the elders will make sure that the New Life Crisis Care Team begins to assist them. Team Purpose: The team, working with the session, will offer a rapid and ongoing response to protect the body and soul of each person directly or indirectly trapped in the destructive cycle of abuse. Team Membership: This team will include at least one elder and one deacon, as well as other church members professionally equipped or specially trained for the help and advocacy of abused persons. A chairperson who is not a church officer will be chosen by the team. Team Tasks: 1) The team will assess material, emotional, and spiritual needs and any practical steps needed to provide safety for the victim and family and for their immediate stability. 2) The team will seek to provide comprehensive care and support (including financial aid if necessary), as far as the victim desires, including referrals to abuse-informed medical, psychological, and legal professionals. 3) The team, working with the session, will inform local authorities if a crime has been committed and will guide abused persons to legal help if they need it—sometimes protection-from-abuse orders and separations are necessary early on and divorce may be warranted ultimately.

B. The Session Will Investigate, Confront, and Hold the Abuser Accountable
After assuring their safety, the session will appoint two elders to speak with the abused person (together with any friends or support persons the abused person wishes to be present) in a supportive setting and learn more of what they have suffered. The session may also seek to gather other corroborating evidence or talk to other eyewitnesses. This is to learn what the abused person has suffered so the session and Crisis Care Team can better serve them and seek their safety and healing, but also so that the session may effectively confront the abusive person with his sin (Mat.18:15ff.) and seek to bring him to repentance and, finally, restoration. This may entail a church trial if the abuser does not, upon clear evidence, acknowledge his sin before the elders. If the abuser refuses to acknowledge his sin and repent after the trial, it may lead to his excommunication from the church. Through this process, the church may also heavily rely on outside help, such as Christian counselors and other outside agencies.

C. The Session Will Shepherd the Abused Through These Difficult Transitions
Being rescued from the various forms of abuse is a long-term process. The leaders of New Life are committed to shepherd abused persons through this lengthy phase. For instance, being rescued may involve divorcing an abusive spouse. Or it may instead involve a spouse’s whole-hearted recognition and repentance from abuse so that the marriage may continue with the ongoing help the church provides. Wherever our Good Shepherd, Jesus, may lead his wounded sheep, we do not believe that he wants any of them walking these paths alone.

6. How We Will Respond to Allegations of Abuse by Church Officers
If an allegation of abuse is made against any officer of New Life (pastor, elder, or deacon) he will immediately either cease particular related forms of ministry or take a general leave of absence from all service, as decided by the session upon hearing the allegation, until such time as the allegation can be investigated and proven founded or not, in keeping with the spirit of OPC Book of Discipline IV, A.1.d. This is not to jump to an ecclesiastical summary judgment of guilt, as no charge is to be admitted against an elder except on the evidence of more than one witness (1Tim.5:19), but it is a necessary means of preserving the safety of the flock, confidence in the session, and the honor of Christ’s name before all. Because this is an unvarying, stated administrative policy and procedure adopted by the session for all officers, it thereby does not constitute accepting a charge against an elder or deacon or rendering a verdict without due process (as outlined in the OPC Book of Discipline). If the allegations appear founded, the officer will be immediately denied the right of further performing the functions of his office and participation in the Lord’s Supper (according to OPC Book of Discipline IV, A.1.d). Furthermore, the session will see that the charges and specifications are put in proper form, conduct a formal initial investigation, and determine if judicial process shall be instituted against the accused (all according to BD III, 7).

Similarly, if allegations of abuse are leveled against any other member of the church, they may be asked to relinquish various forms of service and attendance in the church and participation in the Lord’s Supper, until the outcome of a preliminary investigation and potential church discipline (BD IV, A.1.d).

7. How We Will Equip the Church to Confront Abuse

A. New Life Has Become an Official Ministry Partner of Called to Peace Ministries
As their website says,

Called to Peace Ministries Exists to Provide a Compassionate, Comprehensive, and Christ-Centered Response to Those Impacted by Domestic Abuse. Our twofold mission is: 1) to provide advocacy, support groups, and practical assistance to individuals affected by domestic abuse and 2) to help churches and other organizations better respond to these issues through education and mentoring.

New Life will continue to benefit from this partnership with CTPM as we interact with the church partner liaison they have assigned to us and participate in their year-long advocacy training, roundtable discussions, webinars and conferences, consultations on cases, and study the written resources they make available.

B. New Life Will Provide for Church Training on Abuse at Least Annually
This may include a Sunday school class or series or workshop at other times, sermons, or inviting a specialist, counselor, representative of a relevant ministry (such as Called to Peace Ministries), or member of law enforcement or other governmental agency to address the church on this topic.

C. New Life Will Provide or Recommend Written Resources on Abuse for the Church
Among the books and articles the session has benefited from are the following (this list will grow and change over time):
OPC General Assembly, “Report of the Special Committee to Help Equip Officers to Protect the Flock.” This is a comprehensive online tool (at https://opc.org/GA/protect.html) to define and prevent sexual predation and domestic abuse, along with sample policies and procedures for churches.
Brad Hambrick, Becoming a Church That Cares Well for the Abused Handbook. This book, complete in itself, is designed to work with other resources at churchcares.com. It will “help pastors and ministry leaders understand and implement best practices for handling a variety of abuse scenarios in churches, schools, or ministries.”
Justin and Lindsey Holcomb, Is It My Fault? Hope and Healing for Those Suffering Domestic Violence
Darby Strickland, Is It Abuse? A Biblical Guide to Identifying Domestic Abuse and Helping Victims. This has become a standard resource for many churches.
Darby Strickland, Domestic Abuse: Recognize, Respond, Rescue. A useful 46-page booklet.
Deepak Reju, On Guard: Preventing and Responding to Child Abuse at Church
Basyle Tchividjian & Shira M. Berkovits, The Child Safeguarding Policy Guide for Churches and Ministries. The chapters, “The False Assumptions We Make,” and, “Types, Techniques, and Targets of Sexual Predators,” are highly instructive.
Basyle Tchividjian, Protecting Children from Abuse in the Church. A helpful 32-page booklet summarizing his book above.
Jennifer Michelle Greenburg, Not Forsaken: a Story of Life After Abuse. Account by a woman of the profound abuse she suffered from her father, who was an elder in the OPC.
David Instone-Brewer, Divorce and Remarriage in the Church
Christ Community Church (PCA), Matthews, NC, “Domestic Abuse Allegations: Our Church’s Response.” This is a substantial document offering a biblical perspective on abuse, with lots of practical helps for churches.
Called to Peace Ministries, “Sample Policy for Responding to Domestic Abuse.” This sample document offers much biblical and practical information to guide churches in formulating their own policies.
Stephen and Celestia Tracy, Mending the Soul. Focused on healing from abuse, with many tender anecdotes and stories, along with solid Bible exegesis.
Jim Newheiser, Marriage, Divorce and Remarriage. Sound Biblical analysis covering even the most complex aspects of these issues.
Chris Moles, The Heart of Domestic Abuse, from the Men of Peace self-paced course, a resource aimed at helping churches call abusers to repentance.

Download a pdf of the complete New Life OPC Abuse Policies & Procedures (five-page document)

Download a pdf of the article “The Biblical Sin of Abuse” (two-page document)